


The Best Worst-Kept Secret

by kcat1971



Series: Transitions [23]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Family Feels, New Year's Eve, New Year's Fluff, Pregnancy, Secrets, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcat1971/pseuds/kcat1971
Summary: Josh and Donna are having another baby! How long will they be able to keep it a secret and how will they share their good news with family and friends?
Relationships: Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet, Ainsley Hayes/Sam Seaborn, Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Zoey Bartlet/Charlie Young
Series: Transitions [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/934860
Comments: 136
Kudos: 89





	1. Champagne Wishes

_(Previously in Transitions)_

_** 6 weeks after the election**_

_Our flight leaves in less than 2 hours and I’m not fully packed yet, how has this become my life? At least all I have to do is pack our toiletries. Josh would be fine just using the freebies at the resort, but Lulu and I need our own stuff._

_Trying to move quickly, I yank open the cupboard, and then time seems to freeze as I stare at a pink Playtex box. My head starts to spin as I try to remember the last time I had my period. It was before the election. Before Josh’s birthday. Early-October? Eight weeks ago._

_Holy shit._

_Shoving the boxes aside, I search for a pregnancy test. I’m pretty sure there’s one left in a two pack I bought back in the Spring when we were trying a little harder and keeping track of things a little better._

_I’m relieved when I locate it._

_I’m tempted to call Josh in to watch me pee on the stick, but that’s gross. And I don’t want to get his hopes up. If I’m not pregnant we’ll be starting this vacation on a low note, and he doesn’t deserve that, not after everything he’s just been through._

_Once I’m done, I put the cap back on, set it on the counter and wash my hands. Then I finish packing while I wait the longest 3 minutes of my life._

_I’m almost scared to look, but when I do a big pink plus is staring back at me._

_Oh my god. We’re going to have a baby. I can’t wait to surprise Josh._

. . . . .

The phone ringing in my back pocket pulls me out of my daze. It’s Josh, of course. I’m sure I’m grinning like a fool as I answer.

“Yeah?”

“What’s taking so long? Lulu and I are ready. Are you coming? Do you need help?”

I literally have to bite my tongue for a second so I don’t announce: “I’m pregnant!”

“Donna?” Josh whines my name as the silence lingers a moment too long.

“Keep your pants on. I’ll be down there in a minute.” I tease him, with absolutely no heat in my voice. How could I be upset? I just got the greatest news.

“Okay. But let’s go." Josh urges, with a bit of an edge. "I thought you only had to grab a couple things out of the bathroom.”

“I’ll be down there in 5 minutes, Josh.” I reassure him as I walk to the kitchen and grab a ziplock baggie from the drawer. Then I press “end call” before he can whine about how one minute just turned into five. The last thing we need to do is drag the conversation out any longer. He's on the verge of irritation and I definitely don't want to fight.

Zipping back to the bathroom, I throw the test into the baggie and add it to the toiletries bag. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with it, but for some reason I don’t want to leave it here. 

I still need to figure out when and how to tell Josh this news. He’s been hoping for this for so long, I’d like to make a big production out of the announcement.

From the bathroom I wander into Lulu’s room wondering if I could use something from here? Maybe one of the little dolls from her dollhouse? Sylvia just gave her a new baby doll for Hanukkah because all Lulu has been asking for is a little brother.

Oh my god. She could actually have a little brother. When is a good time to tell a three year old that they are getting a sibling? I should look that up. Nine months is a long time for her to wait. Maybe we shouldn’t tell her until it’s almost time for the baby to be born. Or at least until I'm showing. I'm sure Josh will find some great books on how to explain pregnancy to your child. 

Looking around Lulu's room, everything feels different. She's in a big girl bed now. The remnants of her babyhood are slipping away. This is a little girl's room.

Where are we going to put a baby? Not here. That's for sure. There’s simply no room for a second child in Lulu’s room. That thought has me wandering to the den. I love this apartment because it’s so cozy. But with Mom spending more time here, the den is pretty much her guest room. I think we’re going to need a new house.

Where should we look? I’d like to stay close to the White House. I still want to work. How is that going to work? And when should I tell Helen? Oh. My. God. I’m going to have a baby.

My back pocket starts buzzing again. I’m sure Josh is beyond impatient so I grab the bag and run through the house to make sure all the lights are out.

As I’m opening the door to leave, Josh is coming down the hall.

“Are you okay?” He growls, clearly annoyed but trying not to be. Still, I know he’s irritated with me. And I know if I told him about the baby it would evaporate. But I don’t want to spring this news on him in the hallway, with Scott on his heels. We are heading out for a week in paradise, surely I can keep this to myself until a better moment.

“I’m fine! I’m sorry I took so long. Let’s go.” I bestow a smile on him that stops him in his tracks.

He blinks at me. Stunned. Then his brow furrows. This isn't normal. Smiling in response to his rebuke. We can be a little short with each other when we are stressed out and running late. Especially when we are leaving for a big trip. I can see the wheels turning in his head, calculating why my reaction to his irritation isn’t what he expected. I should remember this for the future.

God. I love him so much. I’m having his baby. Another smile blooms across my face, completely out of my control.

Josh’s eyes widen and then he shakes his head a bit.

“What?” He asks, baffled, even as he takes the bag from me, loops it over his shoulder, and places a hand on my back, guiding me down the hall towards the car.

“Nothing. I’m just really happy to be going on this trip.”

“An hour ago you were freaking out that we were running late and wondering what possessed us to travel commercial instead of on Air Force One.” He points out. 

“I know. But I took a deep calming breath and got some perspective. You should try it.”

“You’re certifiable.” He grumbles, “but I love you. Now, would you PLEASE get in the damn car?”

He gives me a gentle shove, which I know he’d instantly regret if he knew what I know. So I giggle a little as I climb in the back of the SUV with Lulu.

She greets me like it’s been days instead of less than a half hour since I’ve last seen her. ““Hi Mama, Hi! Where ya been?”

Her second sentence sounds so much like Josh that I can’t help but laugh. Lulu joins in even though she has no idea why I’m laughing. Oh my god. Two kids. Two of Josh’s children. How can this even be possible? I swear I am the luckiest woman alive.

Josh climbs in and looks at us both like we’ve gone round the bend.

“Let’s go, Steve.” He calls out to the driver. “Clearly these girls are in desperate need of a vacation.”

“Yay! Vacation!” Lulu cheers, then concentrates, wrinkling her forehead and nose- “Nosotras vamos a puerto rico. Right, Daddy?” She asks haltingly.

Josh beams at her. “Si bebe.” He answers, earning a dimpled grin back.

Between Josh, the Santoses, and Nanny Maria Lulu has picked up quite a bit of Spanish over the last year. I swear she’s a little sponge. I wonder if this baby will be just as smart. 

But what if it’s not? Josh is so good working with Lulu and he's so proud of how quickly she learns everything. Will Josh love the baby as much as he loves Lulu? The thought hits hard and I immediately try to banish it. What a horrible thing to think. Josh is an amazing Dad. I’m sure he won’t play favorites, no matter what.

“Donna, are you okay?” Josh asks, suddenly quitting his conversation with Lulu. I look up and see that he’s watching me with a concerned look on his face. “Are you feeling car sick?”

“No, I’m fine.” I try to reassure him.

He tilts his head and studies me for a moment, that’s when I realize that my hand is clutching my stomach. I move it, reaching out to take his hand instead.

“I’m fine, Josh. Let’s keep going with the Spanish lessons.”

“Árbol, coche, camino, hombre, señora, semáforo, autobús . . .” Josh points out everything we’re passing on the way to the airport telling Lulu and me the Spanish names, which we dutifully repeat. Focusing on his lesson helps take my mind off of the fact that less than an hour ago my world completely changed.

. . . . . 

The process of getting Josh and Lulu through the airport is very effective for helping me think about other things, but once we are finally settled into our seats, my thoughts immediately turn back to the baby. How am I going to tell Josh?

We’ve got 5 days before Matt and Helen’s visit to the island, so I guess I have time to decide. I’m really glad we decided to turn this trip into a bit of vacation. The villas were staying at in Puerto Rico are incredibly nice. They are attached to El Conquistador resort so I’m sure the concierge can help me make something special happen if I can figure out an exciting way to make my announcement to Josh. Maybe I can have a local artist make a painting for us? Or I could get a baby outfit? I know there are some lace shops in Old San Juan, maybe something from one of those? But I don’t know what, a bib? Then what would I do with it? I could have room service deliver a bunch of baby theme food, but would Josh would get the point? I don’t want to have to explain it. Maybe just champagne with a note waiting in our room would be best-- straight to the point. But that seems weird. Maybe just the champagne then I can tell him myself when I don't drink any. 

“Donna!” Josh breaks into my thoughts, nudging me in the side. “Do you want a mimosa?” He gestures to the flight attendant who is offering complimentary glasses. 

I look up at her. “I can’t. I’m pregnant.” I blurt out.

The flight attendant grins at me, unaware of my chagrin at telling her my news before I’ve even told Josh.

“Congratulations!” She chortles before moving to the next row. 

When she’s gone, I take a peek at Josh. He’s staring at me with the goofiest grin I’ve seen on him in a long time.

“We’re having a baby?” He whispers softly, as if saying it out loud will burst the bubble.

“Surprise!” I offer weakly. This wasn’t quite what I was thinking as far as a grand announcement, but the look on his face makes me wonder why I’d wanted to wait even one minute longer than necessary before telling him.


	2. Secret Service

“I can’t. I’m pregnant.” Donna blurts out shocking me to my core. 

Is she serious? We stopped trying over the summer because it was just getting to be too much. We had so much on our plates we just couldn’t deal with keeping track of cycles and having sex on a schedule instead of spontaneously.

But we managed to conceive anyway? This is the greatest news. Lulu is going to have a little sister? Or brother. I know she wants a brother. But I could see us with two little girls. That would be so amazing.

“Surprise!” Donna offers sheepishly. “I’m sorry I told the flight attendant first. I didn’t mean to do that. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of creative ways to tell you once we got settled into the resort.”

“Oh, I don’t care about that! God, Donna! I’m so happy. How long have you known?”

She glances at her watch and giggles. “Well, you were wondering what was taking me so long in the bathroom?”

“Seriously? You were in there taking a pregnancy test?!?”

She laughs a little more, clearly as delighted as I am. “Believe me, I’m as surprised as you. I didn’t suspect anything but as I was gathering our bathroom stuff I realized it had been awhile since my last period and I suddenly just needed to know. I didn’t tell you because there was no reason for us both to be disappointed if it was negative.”

“So, how far along are you? When did I knock you up?”

Her grin gets enormous. “You’re going to be insufferable.”

“What?”

“Election night.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope. I’m pretty sure. My last period was before your birthday. So 2 weeks after that was the week of the election. And we were a little busy until once it was called.”

“And then we got busy.” I can’t help making the cheesy pun while wiggling my eyebrows up and down at her, but Donna just smiles and shakes her head.

“I’m da man.” I insist.

“Yes you are.” She finally agrees, giving me a quick kiss. “And I’m having your baby. Again.”

Her smile lights up my whole universe. This is what living is all about.

“God, I love you so much. This is incredible.” I grab her face and pull her in for another kiss. Afterward, I look over at Lulu, who is looking out her window and bouncing in her seat to the beat of the music in her headphones. 

“She’s going to be a big sister!” I inform Donna, as if she hasn’t already figured it out.

“I know.” Donna confirms, “She’s going to be thrilled.”

“When should we tell her?”

“I was thinking we should wait until after I see the doctor and make sure everything is okay.”

That sets my heart pounding. “Why wouldn’t everything be okay? Are you feeling okay? Maybe we shouldn’t be traveling.”

“Josh.” Donna says my name slowly, putting her hand on my arm. “Breathe. We’ve done this before. It’s going to be fine.”

She’s right. It’s going to be fine. “We’re having a baby.” I repeat more to myself. I still can’t believe it.

Suddenly, I need to tell someone. Jackie is sitting right there in the aisle seat next to Lulu, grinning at me.

“We’re having a baby, Jackie!” 

“So I heard! Congratulations!”

“Thanks, but it’s a secret.” I nod toward Lulu. Jackie follows my gaze and then laughs a little but acts like she’s zipping her lips and throwing away the key. Then she glances around at the other agents in the row behind us.

Right. A secret between just the eight of us. Oh well. Nothing can spoil my mood. Donna’s having my baby. Again.

. . . . . .

The resort is everything I’d hoped. Gorgeous weather. Incredible views. A private villa. 

It’s exactly what we need to have a little family peace and quiet after the craziness of the election and its aftermath.

This could be our last vacation as a family of three. Wow.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Lulu calls me between giggles. “Come here! This bed is so bouncy!”

I follow the sound of her giggles into a bedroom. Donna is taking clothes out of Lulu’s suitcase while Lulu bounces on the bed. I’m glad to see that she’s not standing up as she bounces, she’s mostly just wiggling as she sits.

Flopping down next to her, I pull her to me, tickling her ribs as I do.

“Daddy! Daddy!” She laughs as she tries to squirm away from me. I stop after a few seconds and just wrap my arms around her and hold her close. She sighs and snuggles into my chest. It’s the greatest feeling in the world. Even though I know it will only last a few seconds before she’s ready to go again.

I use those seconds to study Donna. She looks a little tired, probably from the plane ride, but she’s glowing and humming to herself. Then it occurs to me that she probably needs to eat. I need to make sure she’s getting all the nutrition she needs for two.

“Anybody hungry?” I ask my girls rhetorically. “Why don’t we go get something to eat.”

“I want to go swimming!” Lulu announces emphatically.

“We could put on our suits and then order something poolside.” Donna suggests with a nod, offering a solution that is perfect for both me and Lulu.

A few seconds later, Donna tosses me my suit then takes Lulu into the bathroom with her. After a few minutes, they emerge in matching bikinis. It’s enough to make my heart stop.

As my jaw falls open, Donna grins and Lulu giggles. “Do you like them Daddy?” She asks, twirling.

They are adorable. There’s nothing sexy about the swimwear. High-waisted floral bottoms, with pink ruffled tops. Lulu has only a little strip of skin showing, totally appropriate for a little girl. But that same strip of Donna’s skin does something to me. Seeing her in such a sweet matching outfit doesn’t diminish how much I want her. I can’t wait until Lulu goes to bed so I can show her Mommy exactly how much I like this bikini.

“Let’s get some sunscreen on.” Donna instructs. She squirts a glob into her hand and starts rubbing it into Lulu’s shoulders. So I grab the bottle and line up behind Donna. And if I spend a little extra time on the backs of her legs, I’m just being careful.

Of course it takes us longer to get to the pool than I had imagined. The days of throwing on trunks and walking out the door are long gone. Now, I’ve got two girls with alabaster skin to worry about. But man is it worth it.

. . . . . . 

While Lulu and I play in the water, Donna lays on a chaise like a goddess, looking over a menu.

“Lulu, do you want chicken tenders or grilled cheese?”

“Chicken! And french fries!” Lulu yells back.

“And some fruit.” Donna adds.

“Yes, please.” Lulu agrees.

“Josh?” Donna inquires and I know we must be on vacation if I’m getting complete free reign in my choice. But I also know that it’s my best interest to choose wisely because there’s a great steakhouse at the resort and I’d like a big steak later.

“Do they have a grilled chicken salad?”

“Yeah, there’s a pecan apple salad.”

“That sounds good.”

She smiles at me, so I know I’ve done well. Then she waves a waiter over. Once the waiter leaves, she leans back in the chaise. I can’t see her eyes behind her sunglasses, but I really hope she’s catching a quick nap.

. . . . .

Waking up in paradise really is something I could get used to. Knowing that I can lay here and just watch Donna sleep is the best part of vacation. Given our secret, I’m especially glad to have this extra time now. So I scoot down the bed until my head is resting right next to Donna’s abdomen.

“Hey baby.” I whisper, knowing the baby isn’t big enough to hear me yet and not wanting to wake Donna up. But I don’t want to miss even one more day of talking to my child. “I’m your Dad. We’re going to have lots of time to talk like this, but I just want to let you know who I am and that I love you very much. And if you can do me a favor, take it easy on Mama. Your sister was kind of tough on her, so she deserves a break this time, okay?”

“Hey.” Donna croaks, her voice a little rough. “What are you doing down there?” She threads her fingers through my hair and gives my scalp a little scratch. It feels great.

“Just introducing myself to the kid.” Now that she’s awake I don’t feel bad about lifting her shirt so I can cover her stomach with butterfly kisses. I can’t see any real changes yet, but knowing that our baby is nestled deep inside her is intoxicating. As I’m smothering her skin, I’m overcome with desire, but torn over which direction to take my kisses. Eventually I work my way up towards her face, but my hand has a mind of its own and slides down between her thighs.

. . . . . . .

Our third day in paradise, Donna decides we’ve been lazy enough, so she plans a little trek to El Yunque Rainforest. As long as we don’t over-do it, I’m all for a little adventure. 

  
  
  


A few feet into our hike, I call out to Donna.

“Do we have enough water?” From the weight of this backpack it sure feels like it but I want to be sure.

“Yes.” She answers as she walks ahead of me on the trail. It’s a nice view.

“Did we leave our itinerary with the park ranger?”

She turns back and gives me a look.

“What? The guide book said you should leave your itinerary, in case you get lost.”

“Joshua.” Donna sighs. I can’t see her but I’m guessing that she also rolled her eyes. Much like she did when I insisted that we all wear whistles in case we get separated.

“Hey. I’m an outdoorsman. I’m just following the safety rules.”

“Josh. We’re taking a well marked path to the observatory tower.”

“Better safe than sorry.”

“Hey Scott,” Donna calls out, “any chance we could get lost?”

“No, ma’am, we have GPS trackers in our watches.”

“What about Josh?”

“Not a chance, we’ve got him tagged.”

Scott and Donna both turn back and smirk at me. Okay, okay, I know when I’m beat. And I know who I can turn to for support. Lulu is between Donna and I examining a flower..

“Lulu, are you having a good time hiking?”

“YES! I’m an outdoorsman!” She announces earning laughter from the group. Her face lights up. She loves attention and interprets the laughter as confirmation of her brilliance.

“Should I blow my whistle?” She asks, lifting it.

“NO!” Donna and I both shout, causing her lip to pop out. As it quivers, I move to quickly counteract her disappointment.

“Remember, that’s only if you get separated from us. We’re still all together. We don’t want to scare the birds away, right?”

“Can we see some birds?” She asks, perking up.

“Yes, but I think we need to be quiet so we can sneak up on them.”

She smiles and locks her lips. I give it 3 minutes, tops.

. . . . 

“Daddy! Look at me!” Lulu shouts jumping into the pool and paddling over to me. It’s only been a few days and she’s turned into a little fish.

“You’re doing so great, sweetie. Fifteen minutes, then we’re going to get dried off and get some dinner.”

“Ice cream!” 

“No, sweetie, we already had ice cream after lunch. We need to eat some real food.”

“Ice cream’s real.” She insists, seriously. 

Outsmarted by a three year old. I really do have to watch what I say.

“Yes, it’s real, but we don’t eat ice cream for dinner. We have to eat healthier food especially now, that Mama,” I cut myself off before I blow the secret.

“Now that Mama what?” Lulu asks, looking back at Donna, who is taking pictures of us from the chaise.

“Now that Mama is so hungry from our hike this morning!” I improvise.

Lulu looks puzzled, rightfully so, our hike to Yokahu Tower this morning really wasn’t strenuous and we followed it with lunch and a nap.

“Hey you two, smile!” Donna calls out, distracting Lulu, who hams it up to pose for the camera. I have no idea where she gets that. But I hope that baby number 2 is just like her.


	3. Christmas Eve

While I breathe in and it out slowly, Josh grins at me as the SUV pulls up to my parents’ condo. I know he’s not really making fun of me, but I smack him on the arm anyway, mostly because it’s just slightly annoying how easy this seems to be for him. While I always seem to be on edge when we are here, he just goes with the flow, unless things get out of hand, then he steps in and lays down the law with my folks. Which on one hand I love, because seeing Josh in take-charge mode is a huge turn on, but on the other irritates me because it’s just part of the patriarchy that I was raised under. My parents respect Josh because he’s my husband. Ugh.

“Gampa! Gamma!!” Lulu calls as my parents step out onto the front porch to greet us. Josh gets her unbuckled, then as Chip opens the SUV’s door, she looks to him for permission and at his nod, she jumps out and runs into their arms. Josh chuckles as Chip blushes a little, realizing that he probably shouldn’t be the final authority over her behavior. But in this case we don’t mind. We’ve been working with Lulu to make sure she’s checking with her detail and listening to what they say. Preschool isn’t that far away and if she’s not with us she needs to follow their directions. 

“So, can we go too?” Josh needles him just a bit.

“Yes, of course.” Chip responds, his blush getting a little brighter.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re fine.” I tell him as I pat his arm as I climb out. I make my way towards the back of the SUV to help with the luggage, but Josh shoos me away.

“Not a chance.” He whispers fiercely as I reach for a suitcase.

“Josh! I can help with the bags.”

“I don’t think so! Just go inside. If Conor’s in there you can send him out to help.”

I roll my eyes a bit just to let him know he’s being bossy. But it does give me a warm fuzzy feeling that he’s not the guy that just leaves the luggage for me to handle anymore. And I know he’s just being a bit overcautious because of the baby, and since it’s still early in the pregnancy I’m not feeling smothered by it quite yet. And anyway, I really do need to pee!

Mom and Dad have already made it to the living room with Lulu, who is being fawned over by Julie and Finn so I head straight into the bathroom. Once I’m done, I head into the kitchen to look for a snack since it’s been a couple hours. I’ve discovered that the morning sickness isn’t as bad this time around, possibly due to my defense plan of small meals, ginger ale, and sea bands. As I’m pouring some Canada Dry, Julie finds me. 

“Josh and Finn are putting your things upstairs.” She informs me as she wraps me in a hug. “I”m so glad you’re here! If I had to listen to Kate ask where Lulu was for another hour, I swear I would lose my mind.”

“Where are the little rugrats?”

“Still in the living room with your parents. Kate is showing Lulu the best ornaments on the tree.”

“Oh, that’s sweet.” I respond just before I lift the glass to take a long drink. As my sleeve slides down Julie’s eyes bug out.

“Donna!” She hisses, pointing to the motion sickness bracelet. “Something you want to share with the class?”

I can’t help the wide grin that pops out in silent answer to her question. 

“Donna!” She squeals, hugging me again and almost spilling my drink. “How far along are you?!” She asks excitedly, just as my Mom walks into the room.

“What?!?” Mom demands, immediately getting the gist of the conversation, such as it is.

“Donna had to pee the minute she got here, she’s having a snack between breakfast and lunch, drinking ginger ale, and look!” Julie demands pointing to my wrist. “She’s wearing anti-nausea wristbands. I think she’s got a secret.”

“Donna?” Mom asks cautiously. This has been a sore point between us. Both Josh and I have chastised her more than once for pushing us on the subject of having more children. 

I finally relent to their eager faces. “Okay, we weren’t planning on making an announcement this weekend. We thought it would be better to wait until Easter, but it seems like the cat is out of the bag. Yes, we’re expecting. I’m 9 weeks, but we haven’t told Lulu yet, so let’s keep a lid on this information.”

“Oh, Donna!” Mom gushes, “I’m so happy for you guys. Lulu is going to be so happy.”

“I know. But you know how fragile these things can be. We don’t want to tell her until we get past the 12 week mark, at least.”

“Are you feeling okay? Have you seen your doctor? How’s Josh?” She babbles, clearly delighted. It feels good to have made her happy.

“I’m doing pretty well. I’m not as sick as I was last time.”

“Probably a boy then.” Mom declares. “Both your brothers were much easier on me than you girls.” 

Julie nods. “Marco was definitely easier than Kate.”

“Well, it’s way too soon to tell. I saw the doctor last week. She said everything looked good. Given our ages, we’ll be having some genetic testing done, so if we decide to find out the gender we could know in about a month.”

“Are you going to?” Julie asks.

“I don’t know. Josh wanted to last time. So it’s my turn to decide. I might want to be surprised.”

“Is Josh excited?” Mom wants to know.

“He’s over the moon. He’s so proud of Lulu, he thinks we owe it to the world to have more kids.”

Julie laughs aloud as Finn comes barreling down the stairs. He runs straight to me and picks me up in a big hug and twirls me around. “Congratulations, Sis!” He announces, at the same time Josh chides him for manhandling me.

“Be careful.”

I look over Finn’s shoulder at Josh accusingly. “This was supposed to be a secret.”

He shrugs. And then he notices that neither Mom nor Julie appear surprised. “Seems like I’m not the only one that shared.”

“They guessed!” I inform him in a haughty voice. 

“So did I.” Finn insists, clapping Josh on the back.

“Oh really?” I drawl, lifting an eyebrow as I wait for one of them to explain how that is even possible.

“Yes.” Finn insists. But I’m intune with Josh and I totally recognize that guilty look on his face.

“Josh?”

“I may have asked how the four of them managed to all squeeze into Finn’s old room and what having two kids is like.” He grins at me unapologetically, before gently pulling me away from Finn and into his arms. “Sorry.” He whispers into my ear.

“It’s okay. But let’s try to keep this quiet. I really don’t want to tell Lulu until later.”

“Donna! I can’t keep this from your Dad.” Mom huffs.

“Okay fine, but wait until you’re alone, okay?”

“What about everyone else?” Julie asks.

“We’ll tell them before we leave, but for now let’s just keep it between us.”

. . . . . .

By the time we are on the way to the Christmas eve service, I’m fried. I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, so I lean my head back against the seat. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through this.

Lulu, however, is going strong. I think she had quite a bit of sugar after dinner. Hot cocoa and at least one frosted cookie, but if I had to guess, I’d say that she ended up with several. She’s got her Daddy and her Uncle Finn wrapped around her little finger, not to mention Gampa. He has absolutely no will power against her big blue eyes.

At this moment I don’t really care. She and Josh are admiring the Christmas lights and having some sort of contest counting snowmen versus santas. My only concern is that I really don’t have the energy to keep an antsy three year old quiet during church, and no matter how lenient they are in their own home, I know my parents will still want perfectly behaved children once we walk through those doors.

I really don’t want to deal with disapproving looks tonight. I take a deep breath. In through the nose, hold, release.

“You okay?” Josh asks softly.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.”

“I can have the driver take us back to the house. We don’t have to go.”

“I wanna go to church!” Lulu whines. “I’ve got a pretty dress!”

“Yes, baby, it’s very pretty.” Josh assures her. “But if Mama doesn’t feel good . . .”

“Mama?” Lulu strokes my cheek. “You okay?”

I open my eyes and sit up a little. “Yes, Lulu. I’m okay. We can go to church.”

“YAY!!”

“But remember, we need to use our quiet, indoor voices, okay?”

“Okay, Mama.” She agrees, lowering her voice and nodding solemnly.

I’m sure she’ll try. I just have to remember my patience if she doesn’t. The last thing I want is for her church experience to be anything like mine was growing up.

Josh’s brow is furrowed as he helps me out of the SUV and he’s watching me with concerned eyes, so I plaster a smile on my face even though I’d really like nothing more than to go straight to bed. I’ll be really glad when the first trimester exhaustion is over.

Lulu flits over to Carly with Chip right on her heels. “Look at my dress, Carly!!” She demands.

“I love it.” Carly assures her. “And your coat is fabulous.” 

Lulu beams at the compliment. Bubbe bought her a white faux fur coat to go over the shiny navy blue dress she wore to the temple. She’s wanted to wear it every day since Hanukkah but I’ve managed to hold her off to keep it nice for tonight. 

“Mama and me match!” Lulu tells her cousin pointing at my skirt which is the same red and blue plaid as her Christmas dress. My white cashmere turtleneck is close to her coat.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Josh grouses flipping his plaid tie in the air while Anna laughs at him.

“You look very midwestern, Uncle Josh.” She reassures him. And she’s right. We aren’t the only ones. Finn, Julie and the kids are matchy-match too, all decked out in silver and black. As I look around I see at least 3 other families with coordinated clothing. It’s a very Wisconsin thing.

. . . . .

I’m glad the service is only an hour, because by the time we’re singing Silent Night in the candlelit sanctuary, I can’t decide if I’m overly tired or overly hungry, but either way it’s making me nauseous. 

Sometime during the second verse, I start to wonder if I’m going to have to make a quick escape from the middle of our pew. But as I’m fidgeting Josh transfers his candle from his right hand to his left and then reaches into his pocket. A second later he’s taking my hand and I realize that he’s passing something to me. When he lets go and I open my hand, I want to weep with relief as I see that he’s handed me one of the anti-morning sickness drops that Helen introduced me to back when I was pregnant with Lulu.

God, I love him so much.

Somehow I manage to make it back to my parents house without vomiting. As we pull into the neighborhood, Josh takes my hand. “I think maybe when we get there you should get something to eat before you go to bed. I’ll get her.”

“I wish I’d thought to bring her jammies.” I admit, looking at Lulu, who is passed out in her car seat. “I should have known that she’d fall asleep on the way home. We could have changed her before we left the church.”

“Pregnancy brain?” Josh teases lightly.

“Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Yes. Thanks for having the drop. You really saved me.”

“Glad to be of assistance.” 

He gives me a dimpled grin, and I’m filled with emotion. He really is happy to be helpful. He’s all in on this family life. I’m so lucky.

“I _am_ a little hungry. I think there's soup left from lunch."

As the car comes to a stop, he springs into gear, quickly getting Lulu out of her seat. 

"It's too bad she can’t sleep in that dress." I tell him as he climbs out of the car with her on his shoulder. "But, she probably should use the potty, anyway. Hopefully she’ll go right back to sleep.”

“Don't worry about it. We’ll be fine. I’ve got number one. You take care of number two.” 


	4. Christmas Day

My eyes pop open and I turn to check the time. No surprise, it’s six in the morning. My internal alarm clock is nothing if not predictable. My back pops a little as I stretch. The bed in Donna’s old room always does a bit of a number on me. But it’s only two nights. I’ll recover.

I slip out of bed as quietly as possible and sneak out to the bathroom in the hall, making sure to lock the door. An awkward encounter with my brother-in-law a couple years ago drove that lesson home. You know it’s love when you sacrifice a 5 star hotel to stay with your in-laws just so that you can have more family time.

Once I’ve taken care of my needs, I climb back into bed. Lulu is still passed out on her little air-mattress on the floor. I really don’t know how we are going to put a baby in here next year, but I guess we’ll figure it out.

Donna is sound asleep too. I prop myself on one elbow so I can just stare at her for a while. There are moments like this when the air is still and everything is just so perfect that I worry that it’s not real, that I’ll wake up at my desk with only a faint memory and an ache in my gut over what I’m missing out on.

Just then Donna lets out a little fart and rolls onto her back. I have to bite back a laugh. Pregnancy makes her a little gassy. This isn’t a dream, it’s real life, thank god. 

I lean in towards her stomach. “Hey baby, how you doing in there? All nice and cozy?”

“Daddy?” Lulu pops up and peers over the end of the bed. “Who are you talking to?”

“Uh, um . . .” I flounder for words as she tries to climb up to join us. Donna whines a little in her sleeps as all Lulu manages to do is pull the covers off her.

“Come over here.” I tell Lu, motioning her to my side of the bed and leaning down. As soon as she gets close enough she lifts her arms so I can haul her up.

“Good morning, Baby Girl.” I stroke her hair as she snuggles into my embrace. I wonder if she’ll go back to sleep, she was up later than normal due to church.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy. Time for presents?”

Darn. I guess that’s a no on the going back to sleep. I blame the cousins. They’re the ones that got her hyped up about this last night.

“Not yet. Can we let Mama sleep a little longer?”

“I’m awake.” Donna insists even though her eyes are still shut. Lulu gives me a big grin, sensing that she’s won.

“Sure, Gracie, you’re awake.” I murmurs as I run my fingers over Donna’s face. She sighs deeply. If I continue this I could have her back to sleep in thirty seconds. But Lulu squirms between us. 

“Mama? Are you sleeping?” She asks, getting an inch from Donna’s face and eliciting a resigned sigh instead of a sleepy one. Donna opens her eyes and smiles at us.

“Yeah, baby, I’m awake.”

“Sorry.” I offer. I should have taken Lulu out of the room as soon as I realized she was awake.

“It’s okay.” Donna reassures me. “Merry Christmas, my loves.”

“Merry Christmas!” Lulu shouts. I’d worry about everyone across the hall, but this really is their fault.

“Okay,” Donna sits up. “Why don’t you guys go to the bathroom and brush your teeth. Then we’ll get our pajamas on and go downstairs.”

“I’m wearing jammas!” Lulu insists as scoot out of bed, pulling her with me.

“Hey, miss sassy pants, listen to Mama.” I remind her gently.

Twenty minutes later, we’re all dressed alike and trooping down the stairs. As soon as Lulu was presented with three sets of matching snowman tops and flannel bottoms, she was all in on changing into a new set of pajamas. Donna also took the time to brush her hair into pigtails and add snowflake barrettes. She’s picture perfect.

  
  


“Lulu!” Kate screams as soon as we walk into the living room. “Santa came!! We got presents.”

Lulu gets a determined look and starts to speak. “Santa’s not . . . ”

“here right now!” Donna interjects over Lulu before she can announce that Santa isn’t real and spoil the tradition for her cousins. We probably should have stayed upstairs until they were done with this part.

“Awww! Look how adorable you all are!” Lottie jumps in to help deflect from the Santa controversy that’s brewing. “Let’s get your family picture then you can open stockings, okay?”

As she arranges us in front of the fireplace, I glance over at Finn and Julie, they look exhausted but not particularly upset, so I guess we dodged the bullet. Last night I warned them this could happen. 

I thought we’d have another year before it became an issue but my inquisitive child isn’t easily put off. She’s seen a few Christmas specials and noticed the decorations. She wanted to know exactly who Santa is and what it all means. We’re already trying to mesh Hanukkah and Christmas, we really don’t want to convince her to believe in Santa just to have to explain later that we were just kidding. The easiest explanation is that Santa is a character in a storybook. Even though we thought we were vague, she quickly made the connection that he's not real.  


Once Lottie is satisfied with our family photo she takes the stockings off the mantle and hands one to each of us.

“Did you already get your pictures taken?” I ask Finn, who is wearing flannel sleep pants covered in miniature snowmen and a grey thermal shirt.

“Yeah, we told them they couldn’t open anything unless they smiled. Works every time.” He grins at me, “you’re missing out on one of the greatest parenting tactics of all time.”

“Yeah, well,” I shrug. We’ve been over this before, and I don’t think he’s trying to change my mind. 

“Look, Daddy! Candy!” Lulu shouts pulling a foil wrapped Santa out of her stocking and immediately unwrapping it to get a bite before Donna pulls it away. Lulu’s eyes go wide, but Donna deflects the complaint by reassuring her she can have more later after she eats something healthy. I think they had the same conversation when my Mom gave her chocolate coins for Hanukkah. I guess some things are universal.

Once the chocolate is out of sight, Donna convinces Lulu to dump out the rest of the stocking. Along with a large candy cane and orange, she finds a set of three small jointed bears. Kate has a set too and their attention is immediately captured. They really do play nicely together.  


With the girls entertained, I turn to Finn. “Coffee?” 

“God, yes.” Finn agrees, standing. We head into the kitchen where I pour each of us a generous amount into snowman shaped mugs. This year’s snowman theme is over the top.

“Let’s drink it in here.” I suggest. Even though Lottie has finally abandoned the no food in the living room rule, I don’t want to torment Donna. The smell of coffee in the morning still isn’t doing her any favors.

. . . . . 

Once lunch is over, the family all gathers in the living room. This is my favorite part of the holiday. It’s not really about the presents themselves. It’s being all crammed together. And the process they use to open them, with everyone focused on each other. The whole day is full of love and laughter. It’s everything I ever imagined a big family would be like.

“Okay, Lulu, you’re first.” Lottie announces and in that moment it hits me, this is Lulu’s last Christmas being the youngest. Next year her sibling will be first. Watching Donna help her pick a present to hand out, my heart stutters a little, she won’t be an only child. That’s the greatest gift I could give her.

Lulu surprises me by picking out a gift for Anna, whose face lights up. There’s always a bit of rivalry between Carly and Anna over the love and attention from the little ones, and it seemed like Anna was on the short end of the stick from my perspective. It wasn’t exactly surprising. Carly spent a lot of time with the campaign. She and Lulu have seen each other a lot more than Lulu has seen Anna. I wonder if Donna whispered in Lulu’s ear to make this moment happen. If so, I’m glad. I don’t want Anna to feel left out. I wonder if I can convince her to join Conor at Georgetown. Having both of them close by would be great. Especially next year when we’ll be home more.

“Oh, Lulu! This is so pretty!” Anna exclaims as she unwraps the handmade sea glass bracelet that we bought from a studio near the rain forest. 

“I picked it!” Lulu declares in pride.

“Well, you did a great job. Thank you so much.”

“Welcome.” Lulu chirps and settles in on Anna’s lap to watch Kate and Marco give Jim and Lottie matching sweatshirts with their pictures on them.

Carly’s up next. She gives Kate some finger puppets that quickly capture Lulu’s attention too and soon all four girls are giggling together. It’s a very sweet moment.

Liam and Aiden exchange PlayStation games, then Anna has Lulu help her deliver a gift to me. Anna sits back down on the floor across from me and grins as I open dress socks covered with pictures of Abe Lincoln. 

“These are awesome, Anna! I love them. I’ll wear them to the Inauguration. Thank you.”

Conor pops up next, then calls Lulu over to him. She happily sits in his lap as he helps her unwrap what looks to be a shoe box. 

“Little brother!” She shouts as she pulls a new baby doll out and immediately starts to rock it. 

“Look,” Conor instructs her, pulling a bottle and a diaper out of the box, “you can feed the baby and change its diapers.”

“Tank you, Conor.” Lulu immediately offers remembering her manners.

I’m struck with a memory of my first Moss family Christmas- when Conor gave Marco a very similar doll because Julie was pregnant with Kate, and from the looks being exchanged between all the ladies in the room, something tells me that this isn’t a coincidence.

There’s not much time for me to wonder, and as long as no one says anything in front of Lulu, I don’t really care. 

Donna gives Bella her present and watches her nervously. I find myself holding my breath as I observe. Of everyone in the family, the relationship with her sister causes Donna the most stress. I don’t even know if Donna realizes it. Even though her Mom can hurt her, Donna knows deep down that she loves her. But Donna’s spent her whole life trying to get Bella to like her. They were close as kids, as thick as thieves but highly competitive in high school. They grew apart when Donna left Madison. I’m no expert, but I think it’s because they’ve never sat down and discussed why Donna needed a fresh start. I think Bella felt abandoned. And worse, I think she thinks that Donna looks down on everything Bella values. Plus there’s that whole competitive thing. And frankly, I think Bella’s a little spoiled. 

Anyway, I’m all for Donna and Bella improving their relationship if it makes Donna happy, but I feel the need to stand by ready to jump in if necessary, because sister or not, I’m not going to let her stress out my pregnant wife.

“Donna! This is incredible!” Bella gushes as she pulls the lace tablecloth out of the box. Donna’s face blooms into a relieved smile at Bella’s genuine appreciation and I find myself relaxing a little. It almost makes it worth all the time we spent shopping on vacation.

Becky, Julie and Lottie all listen as Donna describes the stores in Old San Juan, and they all agree that the lace is beautiful. Good thing, because they are all getting tablecloths too. While they chat amicably I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have Joanie around, to shop for her along with the rest of the family. Eight years wasn’t enough. Not enough time. Not enough memories. Sibling relationships might not be easy but I want Lulu to have this. A sibling to grow up with. Nieces and nephews and an extended family when they're grown. A big family. It’s worth all the hassle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. This is a bonus chapter. Look for the rest of the Christmas arc on Sunday like normal.


	5. Some Suprises

Josh seems a little down as some of the adult gifts are exchanged. He laughs along as Finn gives Sean a gag gift, but there is a melancholy in his eyes that always makes my heart ache just a little. He’s got a life now and he loves it, but the price he pays for it is that there are moments when it reminds him of what he’s lost.

When Sean approaches him with a beautifully wrapped present, he snaps out of it and sits up in anticipation. There’s no chance Sean wrapped it himself. There’s also really no chance that this is anything other than an ugly sweater, but Josh’s eyes are sparkling. For whatever reason, the worse this gift is, the more that Josh feels accepted by my brother. Last year he was actually worried because it wasn’t that bad. He was afraid Sean was mad at him.

Sean tosses the gift in Josh’s lap with a smirk and Josh tears into it like a toddler. When he gets the wrapping off, pops the top, and moves the tissue paper out of the way his face lights up. 

So does the sweater he pulls out of the box. Red cable knit with that a large green applique Christmas tree complete with lights and dangling ornament. It’s hideous. Josh is over the moon.

Lulu and the rest of the family immediately join in with Josh’s guffaws as he pulls the sweater over his head. That’s when the thing starts to play music. As Josh stands in the middle of the room wearing what I think might truly be the ugliest sweater of all time, I’m laughing so hard I’m seriously concerned that I might wet myself.

“I bet you $20 you can’t find a way to wear that in the White House before Christmas next year.” Sean challenges as he wipes tears from his eyes.

“Too easy.” Josh replies, immediately rising to the bet.. “Fifty bucks says I can get it on the front page of the Washington Post.”

“You’re on.” Sean grins holding out his hand, which Josh gives a firm shake.

Still wearing the sweater, Josh can’t stop grinning as he goes over to the tree. He pulls one of his bags from the back and hands it to Sean.

“Puerto Rico’s most famous export.” He announces.. Sean’s brow furrows a little bit, obviously having no idea what Puerto Rico might export, but his face breaks into a grin when he pulls a bottle of Bacardi Select from the bag.

My Mom’s nose wrinkles a little. She’s fine with wine but less so with spirits. But I know she won’t make a scene on Christmas morning, so I didn’t really worry about it when Josh came up with this idea.

“Boy, I’m starting to be really glad that you guys didn’t have time for Christmas shopping until your vacation.” Finn announces from across the room. Obviously he’s feeling pretty confident that he’s going to see the fruits of our travel as well. Of course, he’s right.

Mom’s up after Josh. She gives Marco a new game for his Wii. Then Dad gives Bob and Bella a certificate for Wine of the Month. It was our turn to get the wine, but I’ll bet that Josh and I end up with the Fruit of the Month club now that my parents know we’re expecting. Josh really likes the Bartlett pears, so I guess it’s not all bad.

It’s Lulu’s turn again and she and Kate seem to be going strong but I want to make sure that Julie’s okay with continuing, so I look her way. She gives me a little nod and a shrug, so I guess we’ll start round two.

“Okay Lulu, it’s your turn, who do you want to give a present to?”

“Carly!” Lulu declares pointing at her and getting a grin in return. Carly is definitely one of Lulu’s favorite people these days. I wish she lived closer. So does Peter.

Carly doesn’t look surprised when she opens her gift and finds a bracelet that is similar to Anna’s.

“Oooh! This is really pretty. Did you pick this out Lulu?”

Lulu looks at me, uncertainly before nodding at Carly. She and Peter actually picked out Carly’s gift together, and he ended up getting Carly the matching necklace. I half expected her to spoil his surprise, but she’s keeping uncharacteristically quiet. I think she figured out if she’s going to keep a secret, she’s better off not saying anything. I’m impressed.

“Well thank you. I love it!” Carly seems oblivious to Lulu’s dilemma, so hopefully she’ll be surprised when she sees Peter.

“You’re welcome.” Lulu beams at her, happy to have made Carly happy. Sometimes being a kid is so easy.

Julie helps Kate give Anna a package which turns out to be a very nice infinity scarf, and then Marco gives Conor a hoodie. Adien and Liam are up next, but I’m not feeling so great at the moment. It’s starting to feel warm and stuffy in here and I’m trying not to think about what it’s doing to my stomach.

I slip out of the living room and start towards the kitchen, but half way there I realize that I need to detour to the bathroom. Quickly.

When I come back out ten minutes later, Josh is leaning against the wall, looking worried.

“You okay?” he asks softly, reaching for me and rubbing his hands down my arms. It’s very soothing, though I’m not even sure he’s aware he’s doing it, and I think he’s soothing himself as much as he is me. Quite frankly, Josh is a worrywart. Sometimes I think pregnancy is as hard on him as it is me.

“I’m fine, Josh.” I reassure him reflexively.

“No, no, no, no.” He responds, shaking his head, earnestly. “We don’t do this, remember? We’re honest with each other. If you aren’t feeling good, you tell me so I can help.”

Sometimes he really is the sweetest. Looking into his warm brown eyes, I can’t possibly lie to him.

“I lost my lunch.” I admit even though I hate how it makes his eyebrows draw together. “It’s not that big of a deal, Josh. Remember, we talked about this, we’ve done this before. We know what to do. And this time it already seems easier.”

“Yeah . . . “ He agrees softly, but I still see the worry in his eyes. “ Still. . . can I get you some ginger ale? Maybe something to eat? I could whip up some eggs, if that sounds good.”

He looks almost desperate to provide a solution; it might break his heart if I said no. And the truth is, putting something in my stomach probably is a good idea. I should have known that lasagna wasn’t a good idea.

“Ginger ale. And maybe a couple crackers with some peanut butter?”

“Okay. Good.” He relaxes noticeably and it warms my heart as I’m reminded that letting Josh take care of me is good for both of us.

. . . . .

I wake up to an empty room. I’m really not surprised. Josh watched me like a hawk after I was sick yesterday. I figured he’d do everything in his power to make sure I got to sleep this morning.

Spending Christmas with my family is fun but exhausting. I think Carly’s screaming is still ringing in my ears. The look on Josh’s face when she opened her present and realized we are taking her back to DC with us for a week was worth it though. God help us if we have another little girl because Josh is a complete pushover when it comes to the girls, as demonstrated by Anna’s equally deafening squeals when she opened a pair of Doc Martens.

Yeah, he’s putty in their hands. Except he’s not. He’s so good with Lulu. He’s patient and kind. But he’s finally figured out how to be firm with her when necessary. He can usually reign her in with just a look. She thinks he hung the moon and stars. Probably because if she asked him to, he would. Seriously though, he’ll probably melt into a puddle of goo if he has two little girls.

My relationship with Bella isn’t perfect, but the thought of Lulu having a sister makes me smile. I can already imagine them dressed in matching clothes. 

But, I can’t help but think about a little boy. Josh, with a miniature version of himself out in the backyard playing catch. A sturdy little boy with a big heart and an unquenchable desire to fix the world. What mother wouldn’t want that?

At 8:15 I flip back the covers. I’m starting to suspect that Josh isn’t just letting me sleep in. I suspect he has no intention of waking me up in time to get ready. But I really should get up and get in the shower. I know my parents expect us to attend church and I’d rather not end the visit with a reenactment of the crusades..

Though, actually, this year has already been much better than last year was. My Dad seemed genuinely interested in listening to Lulu talk about our Hanukkah celebrations with Sylvia and my Mom wanted to see pictures of Lulu’s outfit. I don’t know what changed, but I like it. And I don’t want to do anything to break the peace.

. . . . . . 

“Mama!” Lulu shouts from across the room as she and Kate come running into the foyer, startling Aunt Barabra. “Look what we made!”

Uncle Ted chuckles as Lulu shoves a piece of paper at me. “Oh my goodness. She’s just like you.” He announces.

“No, she’s her father’s daughter.” I insist as Josh and Chip catch up to the girls, who were never really out of sight.

“Manners, Lulu.” Josh reminds her gently, earning a nod of approval from my Aunt. 

“From what I remember, you ran wild through these halls,” Uncle Ted proclaims, “but I’m glad your husband understands decorum.”

Josh smirks at me as I stand there with my mouth hanging open. Meanwhile, Aunt Barbara has bent down to the girls.

“What did you learn about this morning?”

“Three kings!” Kate announces as they show off their glitter covered pictures of the wisemen visiting baby Jesus.

“Did you like your class?” Uncle Ted asks them.

“Yes!” Lulu answers grinning. I’m glad Josh let her go this year. Usually he won’t even consider the idea of her being left with strangers. When Mom suggested that the girls would be better off in a Sunday School class, Josh geared up for protest until I reminded him that Chip would be with her. Then he reluctantly agreed. But he insisted on walking her down to the children’s wing and picking her up immediately after. 

He’s still not completely comfortable having her out of his sight unless we’re all safely ensconced in the White House, but it’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully seeing what a good time she had will help him see that she’ll be fine because pretty soon she’ll need to go to school.

“Gamma!” Lulu calls out, waving her picture, when she spots my Mom across the room. She and Kate immediately take off in that direction.

“Walk, please.” Josh instructs before she gets two steps away..

“Yes, Daddy.” Lulu responds, taking Kate’s hand and moving a little more slowly, with Chip right behind them.

“Very good, Josh.” Uncle Ted praises him. “I’d say you’re ready for number 2.”

“I understand Congratulations are in order.” Aunt Barbara offers as she pulls me into a hug and Uncle Ted pumps Josh's hand up and down while we look at each other with stunned expressions.

“Don’t worry,” she prattles on, “your Mom told me it was a secret.”

. . . . . 

Josh is still shaking his head in disbelief as we change clothes and finish packing our bags..

“Do you think there is anyone in Madison that doesn’t know that we’re having a baby?”

“I doubt it. Obviously, my Mom can’t keep her mouth shut.”

“Not just your Mom. It’s Finn’s fault that Bella knows.”

“Well technically she guessed.”

“Yes, after he taunted her for 45 minutes that he knew something she didn’t know.”

“This is true.”

Josh grins, grabbing my hand and pulling me flush with his body. “I don’t care, you know. I want to tell the whole world.”

“Take an ad out in Roll Call?”

“Yes. Since your family knows, can we tell everyone else when we get back to the District?”

“Your Mom will be here for New Year’s Eve. Let’s tell her in person.”

“What about Lulu?”

“Let’s wait a little bit longer. It’s going to be a long nine months, and she inherited her patience from you.”

“Hey. I have the patience of an adult.”

“Just barely.”

Josh shakes his head and slips his hand up the back of my shirt. “Speaking of patience, I can’t wait to get you back into our bed.” He groans into my ear, rubbing himself against me.

“Mama! Daddy!” Lulu yells as she charges through the door. “Gamma said lunch is ready.”

“Oh good!” Josh sighs. “I can’t wait.”


	6. Slinky Dresses

I find myself getting more and more excited as people start streaming through the gangway doors. She should be near the front. It’s been difficult, but I finally convinced her to fly first class. It’s not like we don’t have the money and she otherwise lives very frugally. It’s a small indulgence and it pleases me that she’s finally agreed.

But I guess she is getting older, and slower, so I guess it’s no surprise that she’s not the first one off the plane. I don’t like to think about Mom getting older. She’s still sharp and spry. I’m sure I have nothing to worry about.

I glance over at Donna who, with a bright smile on her face, is also craning her neck looking for Mom. I’m glad we both had a light enough day to sneak off together for an hour. And since Lulu was happily basking in the glow of Miranda and her cousins, we can tell Mom our news in private.

Donna and I tried to think of some creative way to tell her. But everything I came up with involved a lot of hoopla. Donna thought maybe we could put Lulu in a “big sister” shirt, but after talking it over we agreed that we’re still not quite ready to tell Lulu. It kills me to even think about something happening to this baby but the only thing worse would be telling Lulu she was going to be a big sister and then having to tell her that she’s not. We know we won’t be able to keep it from her the whole pregnancy, but we agreed that it’s best to hold off at least until all the testing is done.

Which left us with the decision to tell Mom privately at the first opportunity. Thank god for cousins. With any luck, Carly will even get Lulu down for a nap before she even knows we’re gone.

“There she is!” Donna exclaims, dragging me from my thoughts. “Sylvia!”

Mom’s face lights up in delight when she spots us. Donna was right. Surprising her was an excellent idea. She normally arrives while we are at work and greets us when we get home, usually with dinner on the table. Man, I should have been picking her up from the airport all along. Once again, I’ve taken someone I love for granted. I really need to do a better job of showing her the respect she deserves.

“Darlings! How delightful!” Mom greets us enthusiastically, hugging Donna and then me in turn.

“We wanted to surprise you.” Donna offers beaming at her. “We have some news.”

Mom stops suddenly and looks very intently at Donna, then looks at me. “A baby?” She whispers. At my grin, she turns back to Donna gathering her gently and holding her closely.

“I knew it.”

“But? How?” I find myself sputtering. Mom just smiles at me, then takes my arm.

“A mother just knows these things.” She tells me mysteriously.

. . . . . 

24 hours later I’m still pondering how my Mother just knew we are having another baby. I guess maybe it’s the same way she just knew that Donna was the one for me, even when year after year nothing happened.

Well, not nothing, I mean we did a lot of good in those years. And we had a lot of fun. And we learned a lot about each other. We had a relationship of sorts from the very beginning. But I don’t know how Mom could have known we’d end up here when I certainly didn’t know.

I wonder if Donna will know when Lulu is pregnant without being told? Well, that’s not something I want to think about. I can’t even begin to fathom the idea, except that of course I want my children to have children, otherwise what’s this all about?

I guess maybe I finally understand how Mom felt all those years. The wanting. Even if I don’t fully understand her faith that it would happen.

And seeing her so genuinely happy for us. Her sweet glances at Lulu and sly smiles at Donna. She was all on board with the idea of keeping it a secret. She is a bit superstitious. And having Carly around actually kept the talk down I think. I suspect that Carly knows about the baby, because the whole Moss family seems to know. But we haven’t specifically told her and she hasn’t specifically mentioned it. So Mom has avoided even any veiled references.

But today Carly is here at the White House, while Donna and Lulu are home with Mom. So Donna and Mom should have plenty of time to talk whenever Lulu takes a nap. I’m sure the three of them will have a wonderful day and it’s nice to know that Mom will be there to convince Donna to take a nap too since it’s going to be a long evening. 

I’d better finish up here so Carly and I can get home and get ready.

. . . . . .

As I’m finishing up with my cufflinks, Donna comes and stands in the doorway. Damn, she looks good. All legs and curves and her breasts are definitely bigger, a very nice pregnancy perk, even though she hasn’t popped yet at all. I really don’t think anyone else will notice the slight thickening I see when I study her body.

I saunter over to her and grab her ass to pull her closer to me, but as I’m considering whether to look for a spot where I can leave a love bite, she throws me off my game.

“Don’t freak out.” Donna instructs me, in an odd tone, holding her arm up to block the doorway from our room to the kitchen.

“What?”

“Carly’s dress. Do not freak out.” She says the words slowly and clearly and my heart immediately starts to pound. For a moment there I forgot I was responsible for a teenage girl this evening.

As I push past her, Donna grabs my arm. “Think before you speak.” She reminds me softly. “Words matter.”

My anxiety is through the roof as I stride through the kitchen into the living room. What have I gotten myself into? I’m not ready to parent a teenage girl. I have no idea what to say, especially now that Donna has me all worried about my reaction to a situation she hasn’t fully briefed me on. Has her father seen this dress? What’s wrong with it?

Carly is standing with Mom facing the kitchen as I burst into the room. She’s clearly waiting on me, and looking a little nervous about it. 

“OH!” I burst out, and her eyes grow wider, waiting for the rest of my reaction. 

It’s metallic silver and shimmery. And very . . . slinky. I don't know when she got so tall. It's those Moss family long legs, and the heels she's wearing certainly don't help!

I’m not sure what to say. She looks very mature. And that scares the hell out of me.

Carly looks from me to Donna, then back at my Mom. And then she wrings her hands together just a little bit. Just like Donna does.

And it hits me why Donna reminded me that words matter. Because this is a moment between childhood and adult, and Carly’s not a woman yet, even though she doesn’t look like a little girl anymore. And she’s worried about my opinion because I’m a man. And if I say the wrong thing, I’ll damage her self-esteem. And I bet money that someone damaged Donna’s at one of these moments at sometime in her life, and Donna doesn’t want it to happen to Carly.

And I don’t know what to say, but I know that I love this kid like she was my own, so I take a deep breath.

“Wow! You look great. Very grown-up.” I reassure her.

Carly’s face breaks into a breath-taking smile. “Thanks, Uncle Josh!” 

“We need to get going in about 10 minutes, do you have a coat or one of those ridiculous wrap things?”

Donna laughs. “She can’t wear a parka with that dress. Come on Carly, let’s look in my closet and find a shawl for you.”

Carly beams as she walks past me and my eyes bug out a little as I catch a glimpse of the back of the dress. Just two little glitter straps criss-crossing her back.

As soon as she’s out of earshot, I collapse on the couch. “Her father is going to kill me.” I moan to my Mother, who laughs at me.

“Joshua. She brought the dress and shoes from home. Presumably someone in her family approved.”

“Not with my luck. With my luck she and Anna bought it without anyone knowing about it and the first time her Dad sees it will be on the cover of People magazine when they take a picture of her arriving at a New Year’s Eve Party with the First Son.”

“It will be fine.” Mom reassures me. “It’s a very nice dress. It’s not too short, and there’s no cleavage. It’s just a bit curvy.”

“MOM! Please don’t talk about cleavage and curves!”

She laughs again lightly. “Oh, you are such a good boy.” She pats me gently on the shoulder. “And you handled that very well. It’s hard to watch them growing up. This was good practice for you.”

“Well, I can tell you this. Lulu isn’t going to wear a dress like that until she’s 32!”

. . . . . 

Carly and Donna chatter all the way to the White House. Carly is so excited to meet Peter’s friends from school. I’m not completely sure that Peter has friends from school but this party is apparently the place to be seen according to the school buzz and he wanted to go, but most definitely not without Carly. And it is nice to see him happy after the disaster that was Junior High.

Peter is sitting on a chair in the hallway waiting impatiently when we arrive at the Residence. His eyes practically pop out of his skull when he sees Carly and I have to bite my tongue very hard not to say anything. I am rewarded by Donna with a smile and a quick squeeze to my hand. I appreciate it, but I really hope I am better rewarded later.

Peter offers Carly his arm and walks her into the sitting room, so I’m given another view of the back of the dress.

Donna’s lips quirk up at my loud exhale. “You’re doing very well.”

In the drawing room, Helen immediately fawns over Carly. “You look fantastic, honey! That’s the perfect New Year’s Eve Dress!”

Carly beams, while Helen goes on.

“Isn’t it a great dress, Matt?”

He shrugs. “Very nice.”

I’m a little irritated. I was expecting a little support in my concern.

. . . . 

Once we have Peter and Carly settled into their limo with last minute instructions and an extra large security detail, we climb into our own limo with Matt and Helen, and then we’re off to separate events. I’m still not sure this is a great idea, but it wasn’t my decision. This is the first thing Peter has really wanted to do on his own, and Carly’s parents agreed to let her go. I’m just the logistics guy. Well, really, Donna is.

“You’ve gotta admit, as far as first dates go, this is pretty fantastic.” Donna gushes to Helen.

“I think he’s counting that restaurant in Chicago.”

“Well, yeah, but that was with chaperones. This is their first time really alone.”

“Not helping, Donna!” I chide her before turning to Matt. “And I expected a little more support from you, thanks a lot.”

“What on earth are you talking about?” Matt inquires with his typical smirk that is a pretty clear indication that I’ve gone off on a tangent.

“That dress!”

“Who’s dress?” He glances over at Helen and Donna.

Good grief. He really doesn’t have a clue. “Carly’s dress!”

“It was nice.”

“You didn’t think it was too much?”

“No.” But now he at least looks a little uncertain, and he looks to Helen and Donna for support.

“Seriously, Josh.” Helen laughs. “I feel sorry for Lulu.”

“What?”

“The dress is perfect. There’s no cleavage. It’s just above her knees. It doesn’t even have a low back. Her Mom helped her pick it out and they sent me a picture so I could match Peter’s tie.”

“But she looks so grown up.” I can’t help but whine a little. I really don’t understand why no one else sees the problem here.

“And in your mind, she’s still 10 years old.” Donna suggests.

“She’s not?”

“She’s almost 15.” Donna reminds me, rolling her eyes a little for effect.

“Daughters and nieces shouldn’t be allowed to grow up.”

“On that, you have my full support.” Matt finally chimes in. A fat lot of good that does now.


	7. Dance Floors

As ridiculous as he’s being about how grown-up Carly looks, Josh in this protective Dad mode is a huge turn on for me. Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant, but God, I could jump him right now if we weren’t in the President’s limo. Maybe we can get a town car of our own for the ride home.

Helen pops her compact open, and double checks her lipstick. “Well, I’m glad that Peter and Carly are excited about their party, but I’d still rather be home in pajama pants, playing board games, eating appetizers, and watching the ball drop with the girls.” 

She snaps it shut and looks at me. “I thought we weren’t going to have to go to one of these this year. We’re not running again, and we’ll have all of the inaugural balls to thank all our donors. Tell me again, Donna, why am I not home in my pajama pants right now?”

She smirks at me while she says it, so I’m not worried that she actually needs an answer. It’s a good thing that I get her sense of humor. When it comes to the dry wit, she and Josh are more alike than they realize. But working for him all those years taught me exactly how to handle it. Cold hard facts.

“Because your husband is the President. The wives of some powerful allies are on the board of this foundation. And your mere presence will raise thousands of dollars for the DC Food Bank. Any other questions?” 

“Nope, that pretty much covers it.” Helen laughs.

Matt laughs too. “Donna, I sure am glad you ended up on our team.”

“Me too.” Josh quickly agrees, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me even closer to him.

A few minutes later the motorcade pulls up in front of the National Portrait Gallery. This year’s New Year’s Eve isn’t going to have the same party vibe as last year. We’re not launching a campaign where we want to show how young and hip the first couple is. We’ve won. It’s time to start cementing his legacy. That means hobnobbing with the rich and powerful for a good cause. And there’s no place better to do that than a private party where the price of admission is a hefty donation to a worthwhile cause.

. . . . .

“This is soooo boring.” Helen says under her breath barely moving her lips beyond the smile plastered to her face. 

“I know. Keep smiling.”

“Flannel pants and board games.” She hisses.

Before I can respond, Alana Waterman is directly in front of us and Helen spends five minutes holding an inane conversation with her while I try to figure out when flannel pants and board games will become more appealing than dressing up and rubbing elbows with important people. Because I’m not really there yet. I mean, sure, I enjoy evenings at home but the only reason this party is boring is because I’m stuck having the first lady conversations. What I really want is to find a way over to where Matt and Josh are holding court, because that looks like fun.

“Excuse me, Alana. But I’ve been told they’d like the President and Mrs. Santos to dance again. I need to get her over.” 

“Oh, of course.” Alana defers as I take Helen’s arm and steer her away.

Helen raises her eyebrow. “Who’s they and when did they tell you we needed to dance again. You’ve been right next to me all night.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you like to go back to that conversation or would you rather dance with your husband?”

“Have I mentioned that I love you?”

“More than your flannel pants?” 

“Oh Mrs. Santos, it’s so good to see you.” We’re halfway to the guys when we’re waylaid by the Senate Pro Tem’s wife. She’s about a thousand years old and we can’t slight her by not stopping to converse.

While Helen makes small talk, I stare at Josh, willing him to look at me. Once he makes eye contact I give him a nod towards the dance floor and make a little twirling sign with my finger as I adjust my dress slightly.

He gives me the slightest nod in acknowledgement and a few moments later I see him lean in and say something in Matt’s ear. Matt smiles and a minute later they are making their way towards us.

“Pardon me, Ladies,” Matt glides into the gaggle, “may we steal our wives for a dance?”

The group of biddies twitters their assent, and the guys sweep us onto the dance floor. 

“Come here often?” Josh banters as he twirls me around.

“Not really. I’m new.”

“Well, then, let me show you around.” He grins spinning me to the other side of the dance floor. 

Josh is a wonderful dancer and being in his arms like this in public, knowing that I’m pregnant with his child, is an incomparable feeling. I’m not the slightest bit bored right now.

Neither is he. His eyes are sparkling. He’s holding his head high. He looks like the king of the world. He glances down and locks eyes with me, and if possible his grin gets even bigger.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks.

“I’m thinking about how much better dancing is with you now. I mean, dancing with you was always great, but now I don’t have to try to figure out if you’re just being polite or if you really like me.” I offer lightly.

“I  _ really _ like you.” He answers emphatically..

“I’m starting to get that idea.” I answer coyly.

He pauses for a moment, then responds a little more softly. “I really liked you back then too, you know.”

“I’m a very likeable person.” I try to steer back to jovial. I didn’t mean to start him down a path of reflection. I’m just happy that we are where we are.

Still, these days Josh is much more about saying how he feels, so I’m not surprised when he tilts his head a little closer to my ear.

“You are the most likeable person I’ve ever met. Of all the things I’ve ever achieved, the one I’m most proud of and least deserving of is that you like me back even though I’m not nearly as likeable as you.”

Josh fumbles through his declaration but it’s music to my ears. I don’t need poetry. I just need this man just like he is: brilliant, intense, sometimes goofy, sometimes awkward. Mine.

I look back up at him. “I like you so much I’m having your baby.”

He shakes his head just a little bit, like he still can’t quite believe it. “Miraculous.” He whispers, mostly to himself.

The music ends, so we stop dancing and applaud lightly for a moment before he leads me off the floor, making our way back over to Matt and Helen. People are already moving in their direction, so it’s back to work for us, running interference while making sure that they still give a due amount of attention to the people who can help make Matt’s second term a success.

. . . . . 

As the night is drawing closer to midnight, Zoey, Helen and I eventually take a break and find a bit of privacy down a hallway pretending to examine a very peculiar painting.

“After all this fraternizing for the Bartlet Foundation, I deserve a drink!” Zoey exclaims, waving a waiter over to us.

Helen gives me a calculating look. “Excellent idea, don’t you think Donna?” 

She snatches two glasses off the tray and hands one to me with a flourish. Zoey grins at her and takes a flute for herself. I’m suddenly on high alert. This feels like a set up.

“To personal growth.” Zoey toasts, clinking our glasses together then turning to Helen to tap hers. They both take a long drink, watching me over the rims of their glasses..

When they’re done, Helen takes a turn. “To meeting new people,” she suggests with another round of clinks. Again I just stand here while they drink. Helen looks at me with a raised brow.

Obviously I need to participate in some way, it’s becoming obvious that I’m not really joining in. “To . . .”

“Secrets?” Helen breaks in, smirking at me.

“Okay, how’d you know that I’m pregnant?” I respond giving up the pretense.

Helen’s face lights up and Zoey squeals. “You just told us!”

“What?”

“It was just a theory until now. But you haven’t had any champagne tonight.” Helen starts “and you turned down 32 Pina Coladas in Puerto Rico. That was a pretty big clue.”

“I do generally enjoy a good Pina Colada.” I have to admit. “And what about you, Zoey? Did you just jump on Helen’s band wagon or did you have a theory of your own?”

“Oh, I figured it out for myself about 2 minutes after you guys arrived tonight. Josh has barley let you out of his sight and he keeps looking at you like he’s ready to swoop in at the first sign of trouble.”

“He always looks at me like that.”

“Yeah, but there’s something different about it when you’re pregnant. I can’t quite explain it.”

“Really?”

“Um, yeah. . . . Look.” Zoey turns me around and we watch as Josh hurries down the hall with Matt and several secret services agents trailing behind him.

“There you are!” He stops in front of me, and gives me a quick peck on the cheek and then looks me over from top to bottom. I see Zoey nudge Helen who nods her agreement.

“I lost track of you.”

“I’m right here. Just looking at some portraits.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, Josh, I’m fine. I’ve only been gone ten minutes.”

“But are you okay?” He asks his eyes drifting downward as his hand hovers over my abdomen. It’s a good thing that Helen and Zoey already know about the baby because he obviously really wants to touch me.

“ _ We’re _ fine, Josh.” His eyes bug out a little when I stress the plural, but he relaxes as I continue, “yeah, I told them about the baby. Well, they tricked me into telling.”

“See, Matt! I told you.” Helen crows. “I was right.”

“You always are.” Matt agrees. “She’s really got a sixth sense about these things.” He tells the rest of us. But Josh isn’t listening. Now that he’s been given clearance, he’s pulled me into his side and has his arm wrapped around me, hand resting over my belly button. I lay my head on his shoulder for a moment.

“They tricked you?” He murmurs into my ear. “Some complicated plan?”

“Not really. They just offered me booze.”

Josh glares at Zoey but she laughs lightly at him, not at all intimidated. “I have to go find my husband. It’s almost midnight.”

“Yeah, we’d better go too. You guys need to be on stage for the countdown. The Press will want pictures of your kiss.”

“How romantic.” Helen grumbles.

“Hey, I’ll take what I can get.” Matt quips back.

. . . . .

“And they had REAL penny slot machines to play! And a roulette table! That’s the one that spins and you guess what color and number the little ball is going to land on. And they had blackjack. I think. Actually a bunch of different games, but Peter and I didn’t really spend much time in that room. And there were 2 different ballrooms with dance floors. And lots of food. And MOCKTAILS!! I liked the Cosmopolitan the best. Peter tried a Martini, but who really wants an olive in their drink?”

Josh looks over and smiles at me. Carly is chattering a mile a minute and it’s obvious that she had a fantastic time at her Vegas theme party.

Carly notices Josh’s smile and pauses long enough to engage him in the conversation. “Do you like Martinis?” 

“Yes, actually I do.”

“Huh!” She thinks about it a minute. “Well, Peter didn’t seem to really like it. But I guess to each their own.”

“I’m not even sure what you’d put in a fake Martini.” Josh mutters.

“I don’t know.” Carly admits, “maybe a real Martini would be better, but it looks weird. I’d rather have a cherry in my drink.”

Josh pierces her with a “Dad look.“Well, you don’t need to be trying anything for real any time soon, so I don’t think you need to worry about it.” 

“Valid point.” She concedes.

“Yes.” Josh agrees dryly.

“And look, Aunt Donna!” She shows me her heels, which have giant raw blisters on them. They look painful. Josh hisses when he sees them.

“We danced so much, my feet are killing me. But it was so fun, we were running back and forth between the dance floors all night. It was great!”

“But the agents were with you all night, weren’t they?” Josh quizzes her, looking very concerned. “You didn’t try to lose them, did you?”

“No, Uncle Josh.” Carly insists. “We wouldn’t do that. They were with us the whole time. And we had panic buttons just in case. They even gave me my own. It was so cool. Do you think there is any way I can keep it? I really want to show my friends.”

“Do you still have it?” Josh inquires.

“No, she made me give it back once we got to the White House.” Carly sadly informs him.

“I don’t know. I’ll ask Scott if they have an old one that they don’t use anymore, but no promises.”

“Okay.” She quickly agrees, then just as we pull up in front of the brownstone she lets out a little squeal. 

“Thank you so much Aunt Donna and Uncle Josh! This was the greatest Christmas present ever. I’m going to remember this New Year’s Eve for the rest of my life!”


	8. Best Actress?

When Sam strides into my office, I immediately stop reading and look up at him. Now that I’m sitting in this chair I have a better understanding of why Leo sometimes left us standing there waiting on him, but I try not to do it if I can help it. While it seems like there’s never enough time to finish all this reading, Sam’s time is valuable too.

“Hey! I like them.” Sam blurts out. 

At my apparently confused look, he smiles softly. “The glasses, Josh. They look nice.”

“Oh. I’d forgotten all about them. Donna dragged me to the doctor. He says if I use them for reading I’ll have less headaches.”

“Is it working?”

“I don’t know. I’ve only had them since last night.”

“Well, they look good, man.” 

“Good grief, Sam, they’re plain black frames. I’m not making a fashion statement. Can we get to work?”

Sam chuckles, acknowledging the truth of that statement. I really couldn’t care less about my clothes, I’m perfectly content to let Donna shop for me, and she’s fairly content to do it. 

“Sure, what do you need?”

“Here’s my notes on the education section of the inaugural. I’d like you to work on that section. It needs the Sam Seaborn polish.”

Sam takes my notes and scans them, staring intently at the second page for a second before breaking into a grin.

“Hold on here. What’s this?” Sam holds up a slip of paper, waving it enthusiastically before reading from it. “Francesca, Alessia, Fiona, Gaia, Camilla, Claudia.”

Oh shit. Donna’s going to kill me. 

“Donna’s pregnant?” Sam asks in delight.

I’m tempted to lie. But that seems like it would be silly at this point.

“Shhhh! Yes, she’s 12 weeks. And that’s why you guys are coming to brunch tomorrow, so we can tell you.”

“Congratulations, Man! I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Thanks. But I’m gonna need you to keep this quiet. Donna’s going to be sad if she doesn’t get to tell AInsley.”

“Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

. . . . . 

On Sunday, Sam and Ainsley ring the bell precisely at 10:30. 

“Bubba’s here! Bubba’s here!” Lulu squeals in delight, bouncing around the room as I make my way to open the door.

“Hey Guys.” I give Ainsley a quick hug as I take her coat from her.

“Bubba! Bubba!” Lulu chants as Sam unwraps his son from a blue fleece blanket and sets him down on his feet.

“Lululululululu” He babbles back at her with a cherubic smile. With his dark black hair and bright blue eyes, he’s a mini-version of Sam Seaborn. He’s going to dazzle the girls. I’ll be keeping an eye on my own.

Lulu takes his hand and they toddle off towards her room, with Ainsley on their heels. I can understand her unwillingness to let them play alone, since Bartlet isn't quite two.

Sam removes his coat and hands it to me. 

“I can tell you this, Josh. You’d better choose the baby’s name very carefully, because I’m going to think of the most diabolical nickname and I’m going to spend all my free time teaching Bartlet how to say it.”

“Sorry, Sam.” I laugh at him. “But I didn’t have anything to do with that. You’re the one that had ‘Bubba’ on your list!”

“It was a joke! How was I to know that someone would see the list and your precocious daughter would find out.” He shakes his head in exasperation, but he’s smiling so I know he’s not really that upset.

“Besides, I’m not convinced that you aren’t stoking the fire. I’m pretty sure you could teach her his real name if you tried.” He insists as we walk towards the nursery.

“Oh. She knows his name.” We stop at the doorway. Lulu, Bartlet and Ainsley are sitting on the floor playing with a shape sorter. 

“Yellow Triangle.” Lulu announces, showing Bartlet the block before she drops it into the correct opening.

"Lulu, what’s Bubba’s big name?” I ask her, just to prove my point. She looks up at us.

“Bartlet Hayes Seaborn.” She spouts off without hesitation. When she does, Bartlet looks up and smiles too.

“‘nack?” He asks his father, who laughs.

“You’re just like your Mommy.” Sam mutters.

“I really could go for a muffin.” Ainsley agrees.

“We got muffins! Baby ones!” Lulu quickly informs her. “Booberry, Cimmamom, and CHOCOLATE!”

“Blueberry. Lulu.” I gently remind her.

“Blue-berry.” She repeats, pronouncing it correctly when she concentrates.

“That’s right.” She grins at me and I decide to leave Cinnamon alone for now.

“‘nack?” Bartlet reminds us again.

“Sure buddy. Let’s find you a snack.” I hold out my arms and I’m pretty happy when he gets up and waddles over to me. Food is definitely a strong motivator with this one. I scoop him up and give him a little squeeze. He’s still got a lot of baby chub compared to Lulu. I’m sure he’ll lose it as he gets even more active but it’s adorable right now.

“Maybe Aunt Donna’s already for us to eat.” I inform him as we head to the kitchen. Sure enough, when we walk into the room, Donna is pulling a casserole out of the oven. She’s got a plate with mini-muffins and tarts and a bowl of fruit already set out.

“Need any help?” I ask her as I hand Bartlet a muffin, which he shoves directly into his mouth. Maybe I should have broken it in half.

“Can you pull the charcuterie board and the juice out of the refrigerator? Then I think we’re all set. You can get Sam and Ainsley. And ask them if they want us to open champagne for mimosas. I don’t want to open it if they don’t want any.”

As I follow Donna’s directions I also keep an eye on Bartlet. He seems to be handling the muffin okay even though it’s a mouthful.

While I get the board and juice set out, Donna puts the casserole on the table as well. “I thought we’d do this buffet style.” She tells me. “Everyone can come through here and fill up their plates and then we can go out to the dining table to eat. And if the kids finish early we can watch them play from there?”

“It’s just Sam and Ainsley.” I remind her. “They’ve eaten here a hundred times.”

“I know. I just want to make it special.” She giggles a little nervously. I feel guilty for a minute. I really hope that Sam didn’t tell Ainsley. Or at least if he told her, he also told her how important this is for Donna and that they act surprised.

“You’re having my baby. Nothing more special than that.” I grab her with my free arm and pull her into a hug and she wraps her arms around me and Bartlet, squeezing us. He laughs in delight.

And suddenly I can picture us having a little boy too. One of each. I love my girls, but having another man in the house might be nice. A son to carry on the Lyman name? That would be incredible.

“‘Nack?” Bartlet asks Donna sweetly, causing her to laugh as she takes him from my arms. Man that kid is a bottomless pit. 

“Yes, sweetie. Let’s go get your Mommy. It’s time to eat.” 

I snatch an olive from the board and pop it into my mouth before following Donna. 

In Lulu’s room, Sam is stretched out on the floor. She’s hovering over him wearing her little lab coat. When she looks up I can see she’s got her stethoscope in her ears and she’s got her fingers on his wrist.

“Uncle Sammy’s heart sounds good.” She informs us seriously. Then she looks at him, “How’s your blood pressure? Are you eating healthy?”

She sounds exactly like Gamma Abbey causing us all to laugh. I can’t wait to tell her this story when we see her next week. Of course, I’m hoping that Lulu follows us into politics. She’s so smart. I know she could be President someday, but maybe she should go into medicine. I know that would thrill Abbey and Ellie.

“Time to eat.” Donna announces to the room.

“Oh, thank God.” Ainsley responds, “I’m starving.”

. . . . . 

The kids eat pretty quickly. While I get a fresh pot of coffee, Donna gets some toys from Lulu’s room and puts a kid show on the T.V. to try to entertain them so we can finish our food and chat.

They play fairly well for about 40 minutes switching between toys and watching the television and running around.

But eventually we can see that Bartlet is running out of steam. He wanders over to Ainsley and whines at her, pulling her shirt.

“Bankie. Bankie.”

While Ainsley picks him up and starts to snuggle him, Sam goes over to the diaper bag and pulls out the ratty blanket that Bartlet won’t sleep without. 

Sam looks half embarrassed as he hands it to his son, who promptly pops his thumb into his mouth as he rubs the blanket against his cheek. 

“Whatever it takes, man.” I remind Sam. No shame in giving your kid his comfort item. There were times I wished Lulu had one specific item to make her happy. Luckily, we could usually get away with offering her any stuffie and she’d settle down.

Within a few minutes Bartlet’s eyes are closed and he seems to be out.

“You can lay him on our bed, if you want.” Donna offers. “Or the couch. I’m going to have Lulu go take a nap too, so it will be mostly quiet out here.”

“Let’s try to lay him down in your room. Do you still have a monitor?”

“Of course! We’ll . . .” 

“We’ll get it out of Lulu’s room..

Donna gives me a look and cuts me off before I can say we’ll need it for the next baby. Oops. 

I get up and go over to Lulu who has been sucked into some colorful cartoon, while Donna heads towards Lulu’s room.

“The pack and play is in Lulu’s closet.” I tell Sam while Lulu climbs into my lap.

“Right.” 

He follows Donna and a few minutes later, they head into the master bedroom to set it up. I wish I’d thought of it in advance. We knew that they’d be here over naptime, in fact we planned on it to try to get a little bit of adult social time. I should have been more prepared.

When the segment ends on the show, I hit the power button on the remote.

“Hey.” Lulu whines a bit.

“It’s rest time, pumpkin. Bartlet’s already sleeping. It’s time for you to lay down for a little bit too.”

“I want a story, Daddy.”

“Of course.” I agree standing up with her in my arms. She’s getting so big, but she’s not too big for me to carry her yet, so I’m not going to miss any opportunity.

“Okay, go potty while I get a book.” I set Lulu down and she runs into the bathroom while I pick out a book from her shelf. I pick Good Night, Moon. It’s one of our bedtime routine books. It’s a classic and it’s calming. 

When Lulu comes back into the room, she climbs right into bed with me. She puts her head on my arm as I read, pointing out the comb and the brush and bowl of mush. And she whispers along with the lady who says “hush.”

She’s not asleep when we finish but she’s definitely sedate. She doesn’t always fall asleep right away, sometimes talking to herself for a half an hour, but I don’t think that will happen today. I bet she’s out in five.

“Sweet dreams, baby.” I tell her, kissing her forehead before getting up. She lets me leave the room without complaint or requesting another book, so I’m pretty confident.

Back at the table, Donna has cleared the dirty dishes. Sam is drinking a cup of coffee and Ainsley is shuffling a deck of cards. She’s turned into a Euchre fiend since we taught them how to play. But when Donna pulls out a stack of photos, Ainsley hands the deck off to Sam.

“You deal.” She turns to Donna. “Are these photos from your Puerto Rico trip? Gimmie.”

Donna hands them to her, then gives me a sly smile.

“Oh. These are gorgeous.” Ainsley murmurs. “The rain forest looks amazing. We really need to take a trip, Sam.”

She flips through a couple more then stops and stares for a minute.

“Donna!?!?” She squeals, flipping the picture of the positive pregnancy test towards us.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Congratulations!”

Sam smirks at me and I have to wonder. Did he manage to keep this a secret or is Ainsley a really good actress?


	9. Let's eat.

My excitement grows as we walk to Blair House. Even though we’ve been watching and listening to workers assembling the viewing platforms and hanging the bunting for weeks, seeing the Capitol ready for an inauguration is exhilarating. The energy for tomorrow’s ceremony is palpable

And now we get to spend some time with Jed and Abbey. I can’t wait to tell them about the baby. They are going to be so excited. They’ve been wanting more grandchildren.

“You’re practically skipping.” Josh quips, grinning at me.

“I’m just really happy. Everything feels good right now.”

“Hello Second Trimester.” He quips..

“Somehow I think you think this means more sex for you.”

He just smirks at me, knowingly. Oh who am I fooling, he’s right. It does mean more sex for him if my libido is anything like it was last time. 

“Well, I don’t exactly hear you complaining.”

“Absolutely no complaints at all.” He agrees as we arrive at the front door where he grabs me and hauls me to him for a long passionate kiss.

A few seconds into it the front door is yanked open. Instead of a steward, it’s Abbey herself.

“That’s enough of that!” She declares, smiling,“get in here, it’s been too long since we’ve seen you!”

We’re barely inside before she’s hugging us. One thing I’ve definitely noticed is that Abbey Bartlet has become more demonstrative as she’s getting older. 

“Abbey! Quit hogging them!” Jed calls out from a nearby sitting room. I leave Josh, who is getting a quick look over from Abbey. It never fails, whenever we see her, she gives him a hug, then studies him for a moment, with her fingers firmly pressed to his wrist. If she doesn’t like what she sees, the doctor’s bag comes out and the inquisition begins. It could take a few minutes.

Jed is sitting in a wing-back chair waiting for us.

“Donna!” He greets me enthusiastically, standing slowly. I rush over to him before he can take a step. If he’s shaky I don’t want him to move around.

After a quick hug, he looks around. “Where’s Lulu?”

“She’s at the White House.” Josh informs him as he moves forward to shake Jed’s hand. Of course, Jed pulls him into an embrace. 

“She’s not going to the prayer service.” I inform him.

“But still she could have come over with you now, and then her nanny could take her back, couldn’t she?” Jed whines just a little bit.

Abbey rolls her eyes. “Don’t be silly Jed. Besides, I’m sure that Josh and Donna will bring her over to see us this evening, won’t they?” She turns her gaze to us and the look in her eyes makes it clear that it’s not really just a suggestion.

Josh quickly agrees. “Of course. We can bring her by after work.”

“Good. You’ll eat dinner here?” Jed asks.

“We could. You don’t have plans?”

“Charlie and Zoey are coming over. Our only obligation for today is the National Prayer Service. We limit ourselves to one thing per day.” Abbey adds in a tone that makes me think that it’s more a reminder for Jed than it is information for us.

“We’d love to come over for dinner tonight. Lulu will be so happy to see you.”

“Good. That’s settled then.” Jed announces, then points to the tray of muffins, tarts, and pastries, and the coffee cups and carafe on the table. “Should we have a bit to eat before we go?”

“Yes please! I’m starving!” 

Having been given permission, I sit down and immediately put a sandwich and a danish on a plate, before picking up a scone and taking a bite. It’s then that I notice three sets of eyes staring at me.

Josh’s are slightly concerned, as if he’s contemplating whether my choices will provide the optimal nutrition for his offspring.

Jed’s are filled with humor. He never was one to stand on ceremony when it was just the staff around. Often letting us get away with poor manners like an over indulgent father.

And Abbey, well, her eyes are at first appraising, looking me over carefully, then they light up and a small smile plays around her lips. I’ve just given myself away.

She lets me think about it while I chew and swallow, but as soon as I finish, she’s on me.

“Donna, is there something you’d like to tell us?”

At her lightly chastising tone, Josh’s head whips over to look at her. He relaxes as soon as he realizes that she’s teasing me. And it dawns on him that she’s already found us out.

“Damn, you Mothers are something else.” He mutters under his breath in awe.

He’s right. I hope I get a good dose of this super sleuthing ability by the time my kids are teenagers.

“Well, yes, we do.” I confirm. “As I think you’ve already guessed, we’re having another baby! Due around July 25th.”

“I knew it! Do Zoey and Charlie already know? Last time I talked to her I was pretty sure she was keeping something from me.”

“We told them on New Year’s Eve.”

“So we’re the last to know?” Jed pouts.

“We would’ve called you, but since we knew we’d see you this week, we wanted to tell you in person.” 

“And you’re not the last to know.” Josh insists. “We haven’t even told Lulu yet. We wanted to get past 12 weeks and make sure all the blood work was okay.”

“And is it?” Abbey asks, switching into doctor mode. “You got the results back from the NIPT?

“Nipped?” Jed parrots in confusion.

"Non-Invasive Prenatal Test". Abbey responds, not taking her eyes off mine. “Everything’s okay? No chromosome abnormalities?”

“No, everything looks great.”

“And the gender?” She asks a little slyly. I look to Josh and he grins and nods.

“Well, we just got the test back yesterday, so you’re the first to hear about this.”

“It’s a boy!” Josh blurts out, “Lulu’s getting a little brother.”

“Mazel tov!” Jed exclaims. “You know, I had to wait until you were 37 to get a son.” Josh puffs up, the way he does whenever Jed indicates that he’s family. “Don’t get me wrong, daughters are nice, and I am glad I didn’t have to deal with you when you were a teenager. Still, a son . . . “

“Jed.” Abbey softly interrupts his tangent. 

“So do you have a name yet?”

“No. We were supposed to work on our lists, but Josh only came up with ideas for girls last week, and things have been really busy this week.”

“I imagine so. Well, you have quite a few months to figure it out. If I remember, you didn’t make a final decision until Leonora arrived, correct?”

“Yeah, but I knew I wanted to call her Lulu.”

“I’m sure you’ll find the perfect name.” Jed reassures him.

“Yeah, we will.” Josh agrees, giving my knee a quick squeeze and smiling at me.. 

. . . . . . 

“I’m here!” Lulu announces as soon as the butler opens the door. I’m a little surprised that Jed and Abbey aren’t waiting for her like they waited for us this morning.

“Right this way, Miss.” The steward intones, formally, but he’s go a twinkle in his eye, so Lulu grabs his hand. 

We are going to have to figure out how to deal with stranger danger. She has so many people in and out of her life that she’s used to accepting direction from people she doesn’t really know. And while I want her to be polite, especially in and around the White House, I don’t want her to be an easy mark. I’m going to need to talk to Ron about this. I think Lulu is old enough to understand how a code word works and to keep it a secret.

The steward leads us into a library that looks out over a courtyard. I’ve never been in this room before. It’s a different part of the build than what the Santos family used four years ago before his first inauguration. I love it whenever I get to experience something new.

This room is cozy. It’s smaller than the formal sitting room we used this morning. The marble fireplace is flanked by built in bookcases that extend to the opposing walls. As I peruse the titles, I see that the books aren’t just for show. The shelves are filled with classic literature as well as biographies and poetry and philosophy. The furniture arranged in front of the fireplace reveals the intention that this room be a place for relaxation and conversation. Three armchairs face a comfortable couch, creating a warm, personal environment.

Of course, the main reason the room feels so warm is because of the greeting we receive from our family.

“Hi!” Lulu shouts, running to Jed first. “Gampa! Gamma! Hi!” She scrambles up into his lap and hugs him tightly. He returns it just as fiercely, face glowing. 

“Hey, what are we? Chopped liver?” Zoey asks.

“Hi Zoey, hi.” Lulu greets her, making her way off Jed’s lap, but not before he slips a golden wrapped piece of candy into her hand, which I pretend not to notice.

Lulu hugs Zoey, then Charlie, who ruffles her curls. “Hey squirt.”

Then she climbs into Abbey’s lap. “Hi Gamma. I’m here.”

“Yes you are sweetheart.” Abbey smiles at her. “Did you have a good Christmas?”

“Yes.” She nods emphatically.

“Can you thank Gamma and Gampa for the Zoobooks they sent?” I remind Lulu, since this is the first we’ve seen them in person since then.

Tank you Gamma, Tank you Gampa.” Lulu responds automatically. I’m not sure she really remembers what they sent but she did “write” them a thank you card, so I’m not too worried about it. And she has really enjoyed the two magazines she’s received so far. It was a great idea.

“Polar bears need ice.” She adds. “They like cold.”

“That’s right!” Jed beams at her, clearly pleased that his educational gift is working.

“It’s cold now.” Lulu tells him.

“Yes.”

“We see Polar Bears?”

“We can see them on TV.” Abbey promises her. “They like the arctic.”

“Arctic?” Lulu parrots.

As Lulu continues chatting with Jed and Abbey, I shift my attention to Josh and Charlie. It sounds like he’s lobbying to try to get Charlie back into the administration. It’s mostly just laying the groundwork for the future. While Charlie will be done with the JD portion of his degree in May, he still has courses to take over the summer to finish the Foreign Service portion, while studying for the Bar exam in July, he’s not going to be ready for a job until fall.

“Well, you know, the door is always open. You tell us when you’re ready and we’ll put you to work. There’s plenty to do.”

“Well, here’s the thing. I’ve got an idea about what I want to do and I’m not completely sure that the White House is the right place to do it.” Charlie mentions, in his nonchalant way, but it immediately grabs Josh’s attention.

“What could be better than service in the White House?” He challenges.

“Statehood for DC.”

“What?”

“If no one else has stepped up to the plate, I think I’m going to dive in. I’ve got a couple connections to foundations for grants. I’ve got a wife with a master’s in public policy. And hopefully we’ve got a sympathetic White House. I think it’s time to take this seriously. Don’t you?”

“Well . . . . yeah. Huh. That’s a good idea. We should talk some more about that.” Josh agrees with a gleam in his eye. I think Charlie is definitely going to find a sympathetic White House. In fact, I suspect that he and Josh will have many more of these conversations and that by fall the groundwork will be in place for Charlie to proceed full steam.

At 6:45, my stomach starts to rumble. Normally at home we’d be eating by this time, or I’d at least be able to hold myself over with a bite of cheese or something. Lulu seems to be doing okay but she got a piece of candy. I wonder if Jed has any more in his pockets.

Just then, the steward appears in the doorway. Before he can even announce dinner, I’m standing up, ready to go. Abbey laughs lightly at my eagerness, but I’m beyond worrying that I’ve committed a faux pas. This is family. And I’m pregnant..

“Let’s eat.”


	10. Baby Button

Watching Donna flit around our room in just her bra and panties is one of my favorite morning activities. Unfortunately I don’t get to indulge that often. We’re usually running on a pretty tight schedule in the mornings. 

But it’s Inauguration Day.

It may not be a national holiday, but it should be. The Fourth of July might be when we celebrate our independence, but inauguration is the day we prove that our democracy works, the peaceful transition of power. Even during second term inaugurations, like today. The fact that we require our executive to engage in a meaningful challenge to their position after four years reminds the world that the United States’ position in the world isn’t dependent on one person. 

“Hey, c’mere.” I reach out my hand as Donna moves towards her closet, and pull her between my legs. With her standing in front of me, her belly is at exactly the right spot for me to lean into her and talk to the baby.

“Hey little man, how ya doin’ in there?” I ask, placing butterfly kisses on the slight protrusion, while Donna giggles.

“That tickles.” She sighs as I rub my scruffy face across her soft belly.

“I love you so much.”

She threads her fingers through my curls as I whisper sweet nothings to both her and the baby. And then we hear the patter of Lulu’s feet running down the hall to our room. 

“Daddy! Mama!” she calls as she bursts into the room, a little bundle of energy, ready to start the day.

“OH!” She startles, finding that instead of in bed, I’m sitting in the “reading chair.”

“You talking to baby?” She asks, joining us. Pushing my face aside, she pokes Donna’s belly button before pressing her face to it.

“Hello, brother. You come now.” She demands while Donna and I exchange a look. 

We still haven’t specifically told her about the baby, but this doesn’t seem like wishful thinking. It seems like she knows that the little brother she’s been hoping for is going to be a reality.

“What are you doing, Lulu?” Donna asks gently, softly smiling at Lulu, while I try to drink in this moment. I don’t want to ever forget what Donna looked like while telling our firstborn that she’s going to be a big sister.

“Talking to the baby button, like Daddy.” Lulu answers, poking Donna’s belly button again.

Oh my god. She thinks it’s an intercom. That’s the cutest thing ever.

“Lulu,” Donna strokes her curls, “did you know there really is a baby in there?”

“My brother.” Lulu agrees, though I’m pretty sure she really doesn’t understand. But that’s okay, we have lots of time to explain exactly how this works. I’ve got a couple books to read to her.

“Yes, you’re going to have a little brother.” Donna’s smile takes my breath away. I love my family so much I could just burst.

“Now?” Lulu asks turning to me, probably because she thinks I’m more likely to give her what she wants.

“Soon.” I offer. “The baby is very, very small right now. He has to grow inside Mama for a while before he can come out.”

“Ahkay.” Lulu accedes, turning back to Donna’s belly. “Love you baby.”

. . . . . . 

“Where are we going, Daddy?” Lulu wants to know as we head towards my office instead of upstairs.

“You’re on the agenda for Senior Staff this morning.” I tell her, grinning at Donna who is practically vibrating with excitement.

“A-gen-da?” Lulu tries out the unfamiliar word.

“Agenda. It’s a list of things to talk about.”

“Talk about?” Lulu parrots, still unsure of what we mean, but content to go along with us.

“Hi, Miss Margaret, hi!” Lulu calls out as we arrive.

“Good morning, Miss Lulu.”

“I’m a-gen-da.”

“Oh really?” Margaret plays along.

“Uh huh. Daddy said.” Lulu insists, bobbing her head up and down.

“Well, then. I guess you must be. Because your Daddy’s pretty smart.” Margaret agrees solemnly before standing up and looking directly at me.

“So is there anything else to add to the agenda?” She asks crisply, eyes twinkling.

“Nope. But come into the office when everyone arrives.”

Donna smirks at her as the three of us walk into the other room. Once we are out of sight, Donna takes Lulu’s sweater off.

Sam, Ryan, Lou, Edie, and Bram are in good spirits as they enter the room together a few minutes later.

Edie notices Lulu first. “OH My God!” She sputters.

“What?” Bram asks, turning to look at what Edie sees. When he spots Lulu’s “Big Sister” shirt, his face breaks into a huge smile.

“I guess that makes it official.” He mutters. “Congratulations!”

“Ha! You each owe me $10 bucks.” Lou nudges Ryan.

“I knew they were expecting. Nicole told me.” Ryan shoots back indignantly.

“Yes, but I picked today for the announcement.” Lou holds her hand out.

“Everybody already knew?” Donna pouts a little. “How?”

“Margaret.” They all say together, looking back at the door jam where she’s hovering.

She just shrugs. “I told them it was a secret. But I’m glad it’s not anymore. Congratulations, Lulu. You’re going to be a great big sister!”

As Margaret heads back to her desk, Donna takes Lulu’s hand. “We’re going to see if there’s anybody in this building we can surprise. Josh, meet us upstairs at 10:30?”

She and Lulu give me kisses before leaving me to give the day’s final instructions to my troops.

. . . . . 

It’s 10:45 before I make it upstairs, but when I arrive I’m glad to see that Conor is already there watching Donna as she packs a small bag for Lulu and explains to her what’s going to happen.

“You’re going to be with Conor while we’re watching Uncle Matt. He’ll hold you up so you can see but you still have to be quiet.” Donna tells Lulu. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mama.” Lulu nods agreeably.

Donna’s got Lulu dressed in her bright blue Hanukkah dress but she’s paired it with thick cable knit tights and white fur boots. She is really getting a lot of use out of her white faux fur coat, too. Donna also has white fuzzy ear warmers for her, so I think she’ll be warm enough.

We got a little bit of push back, especially from Lou, for our decision to bring Lulu with us to the inauguration ceremony. But Matt and Helen invited her to be part of the family section which will include their other nieces and nephews as well. And while she’s probably too young to remember it, we still want her to experience it. There will be photographs. And it will be a story to tell her grandchildren. Of course, I hope that she has other opportunities to participate in inaugurations when she’s older, but you never know.

“Here, Conor. I have something for you.” I call him over to me, and then when he’s standing in front of me, I attach President Santos’ Exclusive Inaugural pin to his lapel. He looks sharp in his suit and broad coat, and it was nice to have a little bit of guy time, taking him out to find something last night. In a town like this, these are wardrobe necessities.

“Don’t take this off. It identifies you as someone who is allowed on the dais. Donna and I won’t be with you the whole time, our seats are in a different section. And Chip will be nearby, but not actually on the stage. If you need to take Lulu off the stage for any reason look for him, he’ll be trying to find you. Okay?”

“This is cool. Do I get to keep this?” Conor asks, looking into the mirror to get a better look at the blue and gold pin with an eagle insignia.

“Yeah, you can keep it. Just don’t sell it on ebay.”

“I wouldn’t!” Conor exclaims.”I’m going to keep this forever.” I love the enthusiasm in his eyes. His earnestness reminds me so much of Donna when I first met her. 

“I know. I’m just kidding.” I reassure him. “Now, do you understand what you need to do?”

“Yes. Keep Lulu quiet. Keep an eye on Chip. Keep the pin on.” Conor answers with Donna-esqe sass. I just roll my eyes at him while he goes on.

“I mean I’m sorry that your Mom is sick. But it worked out pretty well for me. All my friends are really jealous. And Carly’s mad at me since Mom and Dad wouldn’t let her come.”

“Yeah, she called and asked us to try to convince them. But your Dad wasn’t really buying my argument that it was worth missing school to experience history live and in person.”

Conor laughs. “Yeah, Dad said she wasn’t interested in history, she just wanted to spend time with Peter. Since she got to come here for New Year’s Eve, he put his foot down.”

“Well, I can sort of appreciate that. Someday you’ll understand, once you have your own kids.”

“Dude. I’m totally not ready to think about that.”

“But you’re okay watching Lulu today, right? You’re really good with her.”

“Yeah. She’s a fun kid. But watching your cousin for a day isn’t really the same thing as being responsible for them for the rest of their life, you know.”

“Yeah. I do.”

Conor really is just like Donna, wise beyond his years. I wouldn’t have understood the difference between babysitting and parenting at 18. Especially since I never had any reason to babysit. I definitely wouldn’t have thought babysitting a three year old was fun. Although, I probably would have been willing to do it if it meant getting to sit on the dais at a Presidential Inauguration. 

“Earth to Josh.” Donna chimes in. “Ready to go? We need to get downstairs.” She’s got her coat on. Bright red with large black buttons and a wide black belt. I’m happy to see that she’s got black leather gloves and a black scarf, too. 

“You look amazing.”

She laughs lightly at me. “Josh, this is exactly what I wore on the way to work this morning.”

. . . . . 

Having done this three times already doesn’t diminish the excitement and pride I feel standing here watching my President take the oath of office. If anything, I’m more exuberant than ever. I did this.

Not alone, of course. 

It was a team effort. But it was my team. And we overcame an incredible challenge. When I think about how close it was . . . . How they almost stole this from us through lies and manipulation, I want to scream. But what good would that do? We’re here. We did it.

And they are going to pay for it. The Justice Department won’t talk to us about it, but Mike has kept me up to speed on the FBI’s progress. After their plea agreements, several of the players ended up back in the FBI offices for further interviews. He’s confident that they’ll be making some big arrests soon. Morgan Mitchell is going down.

But in a way I’m glad that it hasn’t happened yet. This is our moment we don’t need any shadows cast on it right now.

“So help me God.” Matt swears to thunderous applause, and I clap along as loudly as I can.

. . . . . . 

When the final notes of the national anthem are carried away, and the Bishop finishes the benediction we mingle with the VIPs around us, Glancing over at the family section, I see Conor looking our way hesitantly, so I beckon him over as I greet Justice Mendoza and his wife.

“Is this your daughter?!?” Mrs. Mendoza exclaims as Lulu launches herself from Conor’s arms into mine.

“Yes, this Leonora.”

“How old is she?”

“I’m three!” Lulu quickly apprises them. “We’re getting a baby!”

“Congratulations!” Justice Mendoza pumps my hand up and down before moving on to talk to someone else. But Mrs. Mendoza seems to note the surprised look on my face.

“Once your older children know, there’s really no way to keep it a secret.” She advises me conspiratorially. “If there is anyone you want to tell on your own, I suggest you do it quickly.”

As I’m laughing at her advice, I’m also trying to think of anyone else we’d want to tell in person. I can’t really think of anyone. And it’s a good thing, because this has been the best worst-kept secret.


End file.
